1. |
Inglorious Intro
01:36
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None of this is original. I'm just riding on the coattails of my favorite musicians. My talents and ambitions, or lack there of. I won't rise above. I won't be on the front line. I pay more attention to 3 chords and the energy that it provides. I was never one for doing what I'm told. Don't tell me I'm too old. Give me some whoa's. Throw in some hey's. You've heard this all before, it's all the fucking same. It's just my turn, my turn to play. Try not to get offended from what I say.
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2. |
I Wanna Minor Riot
04:22
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Goodbye teens, goodbye twenties, hello to that sharp pain in my back. I didn't know that getting old could feel like that. I remember running into mosh-pits, absorbing drop-kicks. Bruises were like badges in the scene. But now it's non-checking bar hockey leagues for me. Let's Go. I wanna minor riot. Now that I'm getting old, anarchy's not in my diet. Yeah, let's go. I wanna minor riot. Now that I'm getting old, anarchy's not in my diet. Yeah, I talk shit instead of throwing elbows. I wanna minor riot. No more fights, no more scuffles, no more getting jumped on Abbott road. Nowadays, I only fight for the remote. Take my skateboard out from in the basement, then eat the pavement. I can't even reap havoc on a ledge. I'll get the sick score in Pro Skater 4 instead.
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3. |
Fergie Pissed Herself
03:22
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My nuts are getting blue, and all I want is you. I've been working late, and now I just got the flu. I think I shit myself, I think I'm gunna puke. What I would do for a quickie, done in 1, 2,... But that's just how it goes, you have your highs and lows. Who am I kidding? My life's better than most. If I catch myself complaining, I'll go make a bowl of shut-the-fuck-up and swallow that shit whole. Don't cry over a wasted boner. Life's not over. Too many people dealing with real shit. Your broken iPhone is not a crisis. Quit acting like you are the pins, and life's the bowler. Too many china dolls. When did we all become a bunch of pussies, we don't fight, we run. Say you can't handle stress? Your not the only one. Just sink your teeth into your tongue. Keep it to yourself. And while you're at it, tuck your thumbs in your belt. Don't want you pulling out your phone to post a whiny rant. You want advice? Chop off both your hands. Don't cry over a wasted boner. Life's not over. Too many people dealing with real shit. You have no fucking clue what hell is. Stick around to hear the plan, now listen closer. Do something for somebody else, and I dare you not to tell anyone about your good deed. Please stop begging for attention. Quit obsessing about yourself. We all cum eventually. Don't cry over a wasted boner. Life's not over. Too many people dealing with real shit. Sit the fuck back, enjoy the moment. Appreciate all that you got, and just move forward.
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4. |
Sex and Silence
03:05
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Why do I hear it ringing on my phone? You just called me 2 hours ago, we'll talk when you get home. I know my listening skills have been honed to a perfection, but just get in the bed and take off your clothes. Cuz all I want is sex. I wanna do it, more sex. Maybe some romantic stuff, if it leads back to sex. All I want is sex. I wanna do it, more sex. Maybe some dramatic stuff, if it leads back to sex. Let's not argue, please just end this. All I want is sex and silence. Do you think my words are sexist? I'll shut up if you make me breakfast, bacon and omelettes.
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5. |
Bound By Blood
03:33
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Do you remember when I beat your ass up? (Yeah I remember, I was only 5 yrs old.) You went through that glass like a little bitch. You told mom and dad that you just tripped. (But now we're older, and you're out of shape.) I was under-weight, or so I'm told. (You're a future diabetic, complete with daily needle pricks.) No matter how old that we get we still talk shit. And I wouldn't have it any different. Bound by blood, we lack similarities. Bound by blood, can't pick your family. That beard doesn't make you tough now. (Don't talk you drive a mini-van.) Come talk to me when you get a job, you still live for free with dad and mom. (You know the one thing I will never let down?) So what I liked a few boy bands. (You say a few, you mean a lot. You knew all the words to "Dirty Pop.") Anything you can do I can do better. Bound by blood, best friends cuz we have to be. Bound by blood, can't pick your family
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6. |
Beholder of the Pants
03:42
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Man of the house is my current role, but that's a front, you know who's in control. I'm indecisive and too relaxed. You carry this whole family on your back. I struggle with being an adult, and I'm saying it's my fault that you're left to pick up the slack. I got no rhythm, you lead the dance. House in your name, I can't finance. Take one glance, your the beholder of the pants. You plan our week way in advance. Bills paid on time, mail sealed and stamped. Take one glance, your the beholder of the pants. There's a to-do list everyday. Without you everything would be delayed. I'd have the house falling apart if you weren't there to tell me where to start. I rarely do all that I can to act like a grown man. My good intentions missed the mark. You own that alpha stat.
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7. |
Pet Peeves
04:13
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Can't wait for man-buns to die out. One more god damn selfie, I'll send an A-bomb to the cloud. Get rid of guns, bring back swords. Get rid of churches, praise the lord. How are you living on the other 6 days a week? Why don't you practice what you preach? Delete, delete, delete all the shit that bothers me. Erase my pet peeves. Time to throw out political parties. Why do magazines think that we like women who don't eat? Chris Nolan made 3 hits, then Zack Snyder ruined that shit. Theres too many reboots, sequels, and re-makes. Why don't you give us all a break? No, I can't let it go. No more kids for the Kardashians, we need to kill off that bloodline. No cups, no bowls. Why don't our sportsteams have one of those? How about one before I die. No, I can't let it go.
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8. |
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All my friends left punk for hardcore. They like that metal sound. All my friends left punk for hardcore. They like to fucking break down, so break down right now! Double bass that'll make you bleed, with a baritone satanic scream, like oh no. You can keep your Norma Jean. And I'll keep my "White trash, two heebs, and a bean."
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9. |
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Never thought I'd write a love song. My left hand was my only date. But then I got in touch with girls who actually would touch me back, then thought love songs still were lame. I never thought I'd find the right one. One night with you, and all that changed. I bought a ring, and wrote a song titled "The hooker and the fiend." And just like that, we got engaged. White picket fences, 1, 2, 3 kids, marriage, were some things I thought I would never have. But I just can't lie, I'd rather spend my time with my wife. And I love being a dad. Never thought I'd be a husband. Let alone raising 3 great kids. It's not because I didn't want it, I always wanted a family. I just thought I was ill-equipped. How did I end up striking gold? Think back to who I used to be. I went from dumpster dives, to dining out with you in my suit and tie. Your my queen, my royalty. I never thought I'd write a love song, but now I'm so glad I was wrong. Cuz now I know that I'll love you forever and ever, and after that.
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10. |
Drinking Away
03:27
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I don't drink, no no. (But I do so raise a toast.) You could say that I'm an alcoholic. (And you could say I spend my wallet,) drinking away. (I'm no saint, no monk. I'm David Hasselhoff drunk. Call me the Lion, cuz the weakest gazelle is who I"m trying to bring home. It's my only shot at getting laid. Beer goggles on, and i'm thirsty. It's only 12:30, half past midnight. Let's fuck shit up, let's start a fight. I got a molotov cocktail to ignite. I'm not alright, but I'm alive. I am wasted.) And I stay away from it. (You could say I'm the life of the party.) His liver's stronger than Tom Hardy, drinking away. So if I take these shots, I'll be running from the cops. Not because I'm driving recklessly, cuz I'll think it will be funny to steal your keys and take off inside a stolen car, then get arrested miles from the bar riding dirty. Send the dogs out to search me, chewing at my limbs. See everytime I tried to just get wasted, I end up a thief with a D-dub and possession. As for your question, well that's why I don't drink. (Get me a drink I'm getting drunk. Let's get a drink, let's get fucked up.) No, for me it's like a loaded gun. You go have fun, but guys like me can't even have one. No, I'll be in the corner with my cigarette.
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Billy and the Beast Buffalo, New York
Punk Rock; South Buffalo Style. (That's a thing now...)
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